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Thus Emy became an escort and lived happily ever after

I have been working in the sex industry for 9 years. One of the best decisions of my life. I have always been curious about erotic and sexual stuff, especially if our society dislike it. I usually love the things that society judges. I began by being a sexphone operator. That was really fun, but it was not good money and I was bored at some point. In the meantime, I had watched my first strip show. I saw on stage this beautiful, powerful woman, and all the men embarrassed and charmed at the same time, and I thought « According to the media, they are supposed to be poor victims. But this damn woman, naked on the stage, has so much power. I want to be like her when I'm a grown up ». And I became like her.

Drawing by Ophelia L.

My first year in university, I was a stripper. My relationship with strip-tease is for another article, let's just say for now that it is how I began escorting. I was wondering if I was capable of doing it, but thinking « Listen Emy, it is not like you've never slept with a guy you weren't really attracted to just because you were drunk/horny/had nothing better to do. And this time you would be paid for it ».

A stripper friend who already did it explained to me some basics, such as : « Remember, it is fast money, not easy money ». My first job was with a customer of the strip club, an old and rich gentleman. I remember going out of the hotel at 5am, realizing what happened, checking the money in my bag. I listened to my favorite empowering song of the moment with my headphones, walking in the street like if I was a queen. I was thinking something like : « Yes, I just have been paid to have sex. Yes, a lot of money. And it wasn't even terrible sex. Emy, I'm happy I'm you. » Sorry, the usual cliché wasn't suiting me. No long shower just after for me. I had no sin to clean.

Shortly after that, the amazing person who was going to be my best friend began escorting too, and we lived a lot of this adventure together. We rented a short term appartment once to do some incall, we worked in a brothel in Switzerland, and we did a lot of « duo » with a lot of customers. When one of us was quitting for a while (mostly her), or travelling (mostly me), we would pass our customers on to the other. As we say : « that way, the money stays in the family ».

I will write more articles about escorting, there is so much to say. In this one, I want to present the general atmosphere. When I began, I was so nervous every time I was meeting a new customer. I remember these moments, just before knocking at the door of the hotel room, thinking « you can do it ». I was already quite good at socializing and conversation, mostly because of my stripper experience, but I was more acting, playing a rôle than I do now. Also, at this time, I was still amazed by money. Before that I was sure I was gonna be poor all my life. And now money was coming, used condom after used condom, it was so unreal. So I loved the power, I loved the money, and I also loved the sex. It gave me the opportunity to try a lot of sexual things and unusual situations : BDSM, foot fetish, peeing in the mouth of someone, three somes, swinging, sexclubs, role play...

I even developed kind of a kink about having sex with people who are not supposed to be attractive : fat people, old people... Often I was looking in the mirror of the hotel room, especially when a man of this « category » was taking me in doggy style, and I was finding the picture so interesting. I was also finding myself hot and, sorry guys, laughing a little about my customer's face expressions during sex.

Since I began six and a half years ago, I did a lot of inner work, and it has affected my job in a very positive way. As an example : even if I still like the cash (especially, like any sex worker, finding some cash I forgot in a bag I don't use very often... that is the best), I'm way more peaceful about money. I'm so peaceful about money I can cancel a 500 euros rendez-vous if I want to do something else instead. Never sacrificing my personal life, and checking if I'm just being lazy or if I really need not to work before cancelling, or refusing some work, make my job really healthy for me.

But also all the work I did about the relationship between men and women, about consent, about communication, honesty... All of that makes me work in a different way, and I have different customers, great customers I would say. I have some customers I really want to write poems about. They are such adorable, interesting, fragile but smart human beings, and they are trying to learn what they can about being better men, and I respect them for that.

I have some bad or just boring memories about escorting. Like any job, some days suck at the office (or at the hotel room, or at this new sexclub...). But I have so many good ones, and I'm so fucking grateful. I remember this guy in a wheelchair, and he had never had sex before. I did my best to offer to him a natural, sweet and educative experience. He was playing Powerchair, and I sat on his lap, in his fastest wheelchair, to go back to the train station. After he wrote to me, telling me that I was the first woman to make him feel like a « normal » guy, and not a disabled person. I think I cried a little reading that. A former customer was really in love with me, and one day I talked to him about meditation. He began to do it everyday, he decided to change all his life, gave up his commercial job and began a sophrologist. When he was paying me for the night, I was following his routine, meditating with him before going to sleep and right after waking up.

I have a lot more stories, of course. But I couldn't tell them to a lot of people before. You know, the stigma about sexwork sucks, so many prejudices to dismantle before having a conversation... It wasn't easy. But I did my coming out so many times these last years that now all the people I care about, even a little, know and respect my work.

I'm a happy slut. Even a very happy slut. Happy to be slutty, happy to give empathy, attention, to really listen to people, to give cuddles and hugs, to try new things, and I'm really good at maintaining smoothly my boundaries. Escorting is not easy work, but it is a work of great value for me.

Thanks for reading my words,

Emy Phoenix

In my articles, I make a lot of statements. It is hard for my philosopher side which would love me to explain in greater detail and give stronger arguments, but it is not fitting the short form I'm using here. I just want to specify that I'm not telling a general truth, just my truth at this precise moment of my life, which will change and evolve.

Thanks to J. for the english correction!

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